I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
