Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
