Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
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