So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
