school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
