Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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