listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
