U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
