If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
