we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
