My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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