How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
