Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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