Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize