Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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