sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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