My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Randomize