I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
