A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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