return my video game
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
