He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
no you cant smoke seaweed
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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