I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
either way he was missing a nipple.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize