giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
