This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
