if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Help. Why am I so naked?
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