He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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