I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
