i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
