I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize