She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
