we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
