yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
