i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
