Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
How naked do you want me to be?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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