There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
