im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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