There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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