hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
