And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
