I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
