people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
