I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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