I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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