READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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