There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
