are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
