im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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