Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
