Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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