If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just gargled with NyQuil
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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