if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
