i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize