TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
