Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
