College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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