Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
