i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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