You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
