wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
