Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
