Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
