is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
nutella sex= disaster
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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