I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I feel great
I just peed on a car
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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