I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
